Musing No. 13 - Celebrities and the Nazi Card

Going Green is really chic right now. It's the hip thing to do. And while I love my planet and I have no qualm with being economically responsible, many people - many famous people are just taking this too far.

Paul McCartney, when you want an old woman who sounds like a Beatle.

A good example would be Paul McCartney, talking the other day at a press conference with President Obama. Here's what he said, when referring to the oil spill:

"Sadly we need disasters like this to show people. Some people don't believe in climate warming - like those who don't believe there was a Holocaust."

(http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/3027440/Exclusive-Paul-McCartney-chat.html)

Now I'd like to address the first part, first. I'm not saying the oil spill isn't bad, I think it's terrible and I don't like seeing the pictures of baking pelicans anymore than anyone else. But come on Paul, the oil spill is because of global warming? What, did global warming bake the brains of the people who rushed the job and didn't do all the necessary procedures to stop a disaster beforehand? It really bums me out when great musicians are mentally retarded.

Look! It's Falling From The Sky! Damn Global Warming!

But the second part, while not as stupid is still equally as ignorant. There is clear proof that the Holocaust existed. There is not clear proof that global warming exists. That is why there are still a large number of scientists who do not believe it exists. There can be compelling examples that both sides can bring to the table - but the fact of the matter is - it's not proven, and as time goes on it's getting less and less clear.

But in all honesty, the worst part of the quote was that he pulled the 'Nazi Card'. I am sooo tired of all sides pulling the damn Nazi card. Stop equating everyone that does not believe in your views to Nazis or relating it to the holocaust or anything Hitler, Third Reich, or little upper-lip mustache related. If you have at least something remotely correlating or can at least draw a reasonable resemblance, well then you would at least not be pulling it out of thin air, although you would still be standing on thin ice.

Clearly this is the right way to go.

Unfortunately for our environment, most eco-friendly spokespeople end up looking like retarded idiots who want you to pay an addition 5 bucks for that lemon because it's organic, want to fine you 50 bucks because you don't recycle all the paper that goes through your house and don't understand why someone with 5 kids can't fit into a honda civic instead of their big 'evil' SUV.

As mandated by FEMA this is Jon & Kate Gosselin's new vehicle.

You're making people hate anything that sounds like it might be eco-friendly, because they associate it with you. So cut it out or I'm going to wipe my ass with your curtains to save toilet paper.

End of Musing No. 13

Smart Idea #516 - This One Hurt Me, lol.

Musing No. 12 - The Way To Win The Uphill Battle

Turning positive into negative. The age old quest of mankind's history. How do you take crap and turn into lemonade? Well you don't. Crap would make terrible lemonade. You use the crap to rise above.

Seeing the positive, through the negative.

Don't bother with the fact that all our politicians seem to hate people who actually make something of themselves. That will be wore as a badge of courage once you get there. So you've swam through the river of monkey feces, what now? There appeared from back there to be a nice field of flowers back there from down this yellow brick road, but now I am seeing that I am only getting drudged down and quite wore out and sleepy from this march.

What Life Looked Like from Afar...

The key to success is not quitting. Look through-out your own life. You see quitters everywhere - working at McDonalds, gas stations, people who have been working the same dead-end job at a mall clothing shop or at customer service center for years and always talk of going up - but never do. Here's a nugget - Your ambition can take you farther than your actual talent can. If you have the drive to succeed, you will zoom past many people who have the talent to succeed but aren't trying. That's just a fact of life.

What Life Ended Up Being - An Uphill Battle

Look at the story of Donald Trump. Now, many people may not like Trump, because he's 'too rich' or because he's 'too arrogant' but you have to take a different approach to rich people like him. Someday you aim to be successful, right? So why attack the people who have achieved what you are trying to? Sure, there are many rich people who inherited and just waste it and leach off of their parents like Nicole Richie or others like her. But people like Donald Trump, Warren Buffet and Robert Kiyosaki pulled themselves up from the ground - and that's what you are aiming to do. Don't put them down - learn from them.

If he can't be successful, no one can.

So back to my point. Look at the story of Donald Trump. Trump is a man who see's what he wants and goes after it. Trump is a man who has been up and down many times. He is a man who has declared bankruptcy more than once in his lifetime, has seen his share of struggles and yet each time he falls - he flies even higher. So how does he do it? Here's a quote from Trump that sums it all up: "I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big."

You have to think to the next step. There are two great advantages for doing this:

First, Thinking big and thinking beyond your current step gives you something to look forward to. Yes yes, this step may suck. Working up from the bottom always does. But when you get past this step - look at what you have to look forward to. Look at what you have coming up next. Thinking big shows you more of the big picture when the small details depress you to no end. And that leads us to point number 2.

Second, Thinking big let's you picture where your current step falls in the overall scheme of things and helps you align it with your overall goals. It is easy to get so focused on the current step that you forget about the provisions for the next steps. Don't burn your bridges until you know you won't need them! Thinking big will allow you to see the big picture and put your current locale into an overall plan. Planning ahead is also a great way to not rush the steps - as each step is important, and since you are on the bottom - you are building your future's foundation. Remember that when trying to jump ahead - you may fly high and far, but if you don't build these foundations first, your future will fall.

Looks pretty, don't it? Don't breath to hard...

Though this time may suck and you may be feeling down - develop a plan and realize that this is only a step in that plan. Every good plan has multiple steps, and every step brings you closer to success.

End of Musing No. 12

Musing No. 11 - Option 3 through Number 2

Remember when this world was your berry for the picking? Remember when the world was your oyster, with pearls begging to be plundered? If you've lived long enough, chances are that your views of the world have changed since those innocent beginnings. Reality is a unwelcome arrival - much like waking from a restful sleep to a gun barrel in your face can ruin your morning and alter the liquid content of your bed sheets and undergarments. Regardless, reality is something we all must face at one time or another.

Haha, suckers - my sheets are already yellow.

For the pessimists this is a simple feat to accomplish. It doesn't really change things for them, they just now have confirmation of their suspicions that the world sucks, and can't get too much more depressed than they already are. Realists take it in stride, as they already knew as much so they've had time to deal with it before the rest of us. Surprisingly the optimists many times take it the hardest, and often join the ranks of the pessimists - as much of their ability to fly rode on the bubble that just burst.

Isn't that a weird picture? I forgot why it was relevant now...

I would say that I probably fall into the Realist category, as I just see a glass and don't really care if it's half empty or half full as long as there's still something left in it for me to drink. (Ok so I'm a selfish realist...no one's perfect)

But what do you do after reality hits? Your golden dreams and plans are suddenly quite a bit harder than you had originally anticipated. The yellow brick road is suddenly piled with monkey feces and you don't remember that part from the book. (Flying monkeys have a great deal more bowel movements than pigeons)

My photoshopping resume just hit a low-point.

Well, you have three options:

Option 1 - Stop there, and find solace in the fact that you are on the yellow brick road, (even though you are no longer moving on it). Yellow is really a nice color, let's stare at it awhile.

Option 2 - Try to find a way around it. Sure that sign says 'Evil Talking Trees' followed by 'Witch's Castle' but I'm sure I can find a short cut. And I'll have the trees to have nice conversations with along the way.

Option 3 - Jump into the monkey shit. Anything can be swam through - just ask Andy Dufresne.

Get busy livin, or get busy dyin.

If you chose option 3, Congratulations - you're not stupid and you have a wonderful musky aroma you should remember to wash off once you reach the Emerald City. If you chose option 1 or 2 - enjoy working for Option 3'ers.

Yes you will have to go through obstacles to get to your dream. If it was easy everyone would have done it and it wouldn't be something worth dreaming about. And yes - It sucks. It sucks real bad. You can't see what's ahead, you're trying not to breath in and you promise God never to look down upon a hobo who smells funny again if he can please send Moses down to perform a Brown Sea encore. But you know it must be done.

Look what you did now, you damn dirty apes...

Just ask any man who's ever made anything of himself, and he will tell you that Armani suits feel just as good stained brown and that a dry-cleaning bill is much more rewarding than a welfare check. If you ever plan on getting ahead in life, plan on smelling like crap for awhile - but remember that it's only for a season. This too, shall pass.

End of Musing No. 11

Musing No. 10 – The Beast Can Make Or Break You.

So on goes my quest to help out all the little guys out there who want to make great music but don’t have the promotional bucks of Nickelback. (Speaking of Nickelback – is it just me, or do all their songs sound oddly the same? Maybe I don’t get it….yeah they have great words and all in their new songs, but do you think they could spring for a few different chords? Sorry – back to the topic).

But Damn, They look cool with their guitars.

I would like to emphasize the power of loyalty. This is very similar to what we in the business world refer to as the power of the local market. It’s very simple – if the audience feels a connection to you because of your sharing of the same location, then they will be loyal to you to the end. For instance, we here in Grand Rapids, love our ‘Red Hot Chili Peppers’ – being as they are a native Grand Rapid band. Red Hot Chili Peppers returns that loyalty by letting it be known that Grand Rapids is where their roots are, and then they throw us a bone with ‘Especially In Michigan’ a track that get’s frequent play in these parts. It’s a very basic concept, but one you had best learn – your home base will always be your strongest.

What? You mean people outside of Grand Rapids don't wear helmets all the time?

Now when you are smaller band – the rivalry will be between cities. When I lived in New York, the Capital Region (Albany) bands got much more love than the (sometimes better) bands from Poughkeepsie or Syracuse. Why - because they were from your scene. And they let it be known where they were from every show. Their crowds would follow them to all over the state to hear them play the same damn songs, lol, because they were one of them.

The Beast Looks Hungry....

Just remember wherever you go – keep your home base in mind. Create a street team, where they can help you out with promotions, and you can give them free shit. Give away freebies at the home shows - letting the crowd know that you don’t do this for anyone else. That makes it even more powerful – because it combines the power of loyalty with the power of free stuff – two marketing dynamos, especially when it comes to the music industry.

Now in contradiction – if you don’t acknowledge your home base any differently than you do any other crowd – if you don’t remember ‘the little guy’ when you go big….or bigger anyways – then they will make you bleed. They will tear you apart.

Remember this from Oz? This is you if you forget your home base....Not cool.

Always remember where you came from as a musician, always remember the hometown – because they are ultimately your foundation, and will almost always be your biggest fans and biggest promoters.

End of Musing No. 10

Musing No. 9 - Musician Magic

So I will deviate from my usual amusing posts to discuss a musician matter....just this once, lol (who am I kidding, I always deviate from the norm, lol):

You don't need the big processing units or big editing units to create beautiful musical art. As a matter of fact, the big musicians envy you. Yes that's right, they envy you.

"Why is that" you may say? Well the reason is, because you still have the 'Wow Factor.' With your little First Act guitar and crappy peavy amp, you have the ability to amaze people with your ingenuitive creative ability. True art is created with little and made into big. You see that little amp and crappy guitar you have by your side? That is all you need by way of tools to create the music the world needs to hear.

When you are small, you need to 'Wow' the world with your creative genius. Art is not something that is created with millions of dollars - art is something that is taking something and making it nothing. And you can do that. You can take that small Line 6, Peavey, or Marshall amp - you can take that small Dillion, Epiphone or First Act guitar create something that the world has never seen. You have to stop waiting for the world to hand you the big weapons that the music industry has at it's ever-waiting disposal, and know that the 'Wow Factor' is in the ability to make something amazing from your small stack/amp/crappy PC abilities.

The true artists can take a crappy doormat and make a picaso piece. The true artists can take a Target purchased guitar and make a form of music that the world has never seen. Sure, you will get picked up by a Major industrial label when you make that music, but the point is that you can MAKE IT when you have nothing. YOU can make musical art with nothing but your raw creative talent at your disposal.

I believe the industry has gotten into a funk. A funk that means the same old' same old. That is where you come in. You - the creative musical genius, who has nothing but his hopes his dreams and creativity, and his desire to make the world better.
The point that I would really like to Pound home is that you don't need the big fancy tools of the music industry to make the best music anyone has ever heard. All you need is a guitar and a microphone. Or heck, all you need is a tape recorder. Something to record you creating the best art the world has ever seen.

You need to be brave. You need to be daring. You need to dare to be ridiculed. Look back through history - the greatest creators of all time were ridiculed, they were torn down - all because their creations were different. But you know what? Different is the best. Different is the blood that the industry lives by. Different is what takes you on a multi-million dollar tour of America, Germany, and Ireland. DIfferent is what makes you the artist to define our generation.

I would advise you - over everything - to be different than the rest. As a musical artist, I can definitely tell you that different will get you somewhere in this world. Different will take you where you want to go. Different will make you the defining artist of our time. And I will personally sign you, on my label - Mannstein Records. (Shameless Plug, I'm sorry, I'm a marketer as well as a musician) I encourage all inspiring musicians and musical geniuses to follow your path of different. Because different will get your noticed. It may not make you the next Nickelback....but let's face it...there are loftier goals, lol. Every label is looking for the next big thing - and you might be just that.

Don't be afraid to be different. You might be the next big thing.

End of Musing No 9
http://www.myspace.com/joelyoley

Smart Idea #485 - We're Really On A Roll Here....